What I've Been Reading...

Here's what I've read in the last few weeks....

A Retrospect, by James Hudson Taylor

A compact, easy to read version of his much longer (and better) biography.  I have a son named after Hudson Taylor, don't you know....



Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream, by David Platt

I see where this book was going- honestly, though it had some great points, and acts as an honest mirror for Christian culture in America....  I'd just read Generous Justice for a stronger approach to the heart of the subject.


The Story of God, the Story of Us: Getting Lost and Found in the Bible, by Sean Gladding

If you, or someone you know, is a new Christian, if you'd like to have an introduction to the Bible as a whole, this is a wonderful way to get it- it's a narrative structure, from a storyteller's perspective- hitting all the main points of the Bible from beginning to end.  It comes with a reading guide to follow through the Bible as you read the story.  Very easy to get into.


Besides the Bible: 100 Books that Have, Should, or Will Create Christian Culture, Gibson, Pattison, Green, and others.

This book is great- not a "book" really, more like a series of very well-written and thoughtful Wiki entries for 100 books that we "should" read.  It's great for reference, for editorial thoughts on books you've already read, and for stocking up future reading lists.  If you've never read a book, but you read about it here, you'll at least have a frame of reference if it comes up in conversation, etc.  You'll sort of feel like you read it.


Water for Elephants, by Sara Gruen

It's like The Notebook meets The Grapes of Wrath meets the Circus.  Just a good bit of fiction.


The Life of Harriet Beecher Stowe by Charles Edward Stowe

Harriet Beecher Stowe and Abigail Adams are two of my favorite American heroes.  They. were. women.  Author of Uncle Tom's Cabin, when she met Abraham Lincoln he joked,  "So you're the little woman who wrote the book that started this great war."

This is the longest and best biography of HBS that I've read, and it was particularly good as it relied heavily on actual correspondence. However- Eric Metaxas could do her biography right.

I like to hear about what you're reading, by the way...

The Kindle.

Jim bought a Kindle last week. 

He will eventually need it, but hasn't needed it yet, so, I've taken liberty to spend hours and hours with it in the last 6 days. 

I'm resistant to a total Kindle-transition, because books are important to me. 

I like holding them, writing in them, smelling them, marking them up, loving them, dog-earing pages, then placing them on my bookshelf- each one like a trophy of sorts.  Yes- you can "virtually" do most all these things quickly and efficiently on Kindle, but, it loses something timeless I think.  I also loan books to people often.  You can't loan out Kindle books.  But don't get me wrong- all the categorizing your books and quick and zippy highlighting that stores and saves your saved passages for reference in seconds is.... nice.

Not all books are meant for/best read on a Kindle- but many are- and it is fantastic.  Books are cheap- many of the best classics are free or sell for about $1, and they're delivered instantly. 

It would have been AMAZING to have a Kindle in college- most of the books I had to buy then at outrageous prices in the bookstore (just before online buying became the norm)- many of those books are actually even free on Kindle.  Oh, how nice that would have been.

I love reading on the Kindle- Jim bought his with a leather cover- which doubles as a stand in various orientations, so I love not having to "hold" the book for hours- and the screen is perfect for reading for long periods of time- nothing flashy, just a stripped down, easy to navigate, easy-on-the-eyes screen.

Also, when you start a book- you have no way of visually "seeing" how thick/long it is (you see your progress percentage-wise, but it's not the same as holding, say, a 300-500 pg book), and when you get into the book, you read and read and read and just get lost in it, not distracted as much by how much you've "accomplished", how far you've read, etc.  I find that I quickly get lost and caught up in the books I've read on Kindle (in a good way) with less distraction- I didn't anticipate that.

♥ you Kindle.

Retreating.

Like an army defeated

The snow hath retreated

- William Wordsworth,

from Written in March

This verse has been in my mind this week.  

We've had some above-freezing temperatures, and slowly the dirty old snow is melting away. 

The streets are filling with water (see our curb above), and the ground is getting sloppy.

No doubt, it will get colder before it officially stays warmer, and no doubt there's at least one or two big hits of snow coming before the end of March, but, we're on the upswing. 

Everything is muddy and dingy, but there is hope that green things will grow.

Winter's got a little more punch to pack in the next 6 weeks, but, it's on the outs- and that makes me happy.

Twice as Good

You know I was too busy trying to do nothing yesterday to write any blog posts.

And I didn't even take the time to take a new picture of you, or of us, or even find an old one of us.  This one was just easy to find, since it's your facebook profile.  It will have to do.  Any post is better with a picture. 



I love you because I love you.  You love me because you love me.  We know one another- and that is priceless. 

And as Sara Groves says it,

with every burden I have carried
with every joy it's understood
life with you is half as hard
and twice as good


I love you.

Holy Anger.

A Franciscan blessing, originally posted 10.27.10
................................

May God bless you with a restless discomfort about easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships, so that you may seek truth boldly and love deep within your heart.

May God bless you with holy anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may tirelessly work for justice, freedom, and peace among all people.

May God bless you with the gift of tears to shed with those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all that they cherish, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and transform their pain into joy.

May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you really can make a difference in this world, so that you are able, with God's grace, to do what others claim cannot be done.

And the blessing of God the Supreme Majesty and our Creator,
Jesus Christ the Incarnate Word who is our brother and Saviour,
and the Holy Spirit, our Advocate and Guide,
be with you and remain with you, this day and forevermore.

AMEN

In the Snow

Jim and I spent a lot of time doing nothing together last weekend, and it was great.

After we grabbed some groceries, we went for a little walk in the snow.  He then threw me in a snowbank and smashed snow in my face, which I did not like.

We have fun together.

Growing.

"Change is one difference between life and death." -Francis Schaeffer, Art and the Bible, p. 73

We are all creators. Whether we are painters, sculptors, photographers, writers, readers, parents, students, scientists, spouses, chefs, pastors, friends, accountants, or architects, we are all creating and building throughout our lives. 

Even when we invest no intentionality into living at all, we are still fashioning a life's work.  Some will, at the end, be much more intricate and beautiful than others.

We are made in the image of God, and like Him, we are creators. 

When I think of the things I create in my life- photographs, meals, a home, our marriage, our parenting, my mind, and on, I find I'm almost daily cringing at something I used to think was excellent- something that was, at the time, my best- but is now either funny, or just difficult to look back on. 

But it is good to know we are moving forward as individuals, as a family, as creators.  We aren't backtracking, we aren't standing still.  We are constantly evolving, growing, expanding, and gaining resolve.  We stand on solid foundations, and enjoy incredible freedom to flex and become something greater, something more beautiful every day- usually by doing hard work, by accepting help, by failing, admitting, and moving on, by pouring ourselves out to people and work that matters.

It's sometimes very difficult to look back- but I'm so glad to be alive.

Just a friendly reminder that the first Basic Photography class of the spring is happening on Tuesday, February 15 at 7pm (Full details and available dates here).  The first DSLR Basics class will happen the following Tuesday.  Contact Jessica at the Museum of Visual Materials to get registered (jessica@sfmvm.com).

Tuesdays don't work for you?  Starting in March, classes will be held on Wednesday nights instead.

Come have fun, meet people, get some great starter skills, and support the Zam Fund (Please).

Surfaces.

"The purpose of photojournalism is to shout, attract attention, shine light on an injustice, or reveal a hidden truth. At the same time, it can invade privacy and even betray. In both studio and journalistic portraiture, while the results can be intriguing, horrifying, amusing, or memorable—or even change the world—even a viewer can sometimes feel complicit in an exploitation.

Photography deals with surfaces. What appears to be, is. But, sometimes, isn’t. A photograph can lie, easily and boldly… Contrary to popular sentiment or a photographer’s conceit, I don’t believe a person’s face alone can reveal his character. So the photographer becomes detective as well as explorer, searching for clues that tie up the loose ends and complete the picture… In the end, the pure portrait conveys only what [the subject] looks like, how long he’s lived, his mood at the moment, and the skill—and intent—of the photographer. We need his environment for the whole story."

 -Jodi Cobb

"Photography’s stunning power to collect facts on the one hand and create fantasies on the other can be delightful or maddening, depending upon the viewpoint of the particular audience. The manipulation of images is as old as photography itself, and controversies about it began long before the digital revolution. A photograph, manipulated or not, may be used to reveal reality or obscure it. Clearly, the simple acts of taking a picture and displaying it can get very complicated indeed. … Through the years it has become an ever more deeply held creed of Geographic editors and photographers that great photographs cannot be manipulated."

-In Focus, p. 158

 
I was conflicted about this the entire time I was in Zambia- are these pictures true?  Are they intrusive?  Am I exploiting anyone? Am I just a nosy American?  What was I doing there?  And people were so often happy to see me- I absolutely loved that connection we could have- even in the darkest of places my camera brought joy.  But then, it also meant that sometimes people looked happy, in places that broke my heart, in places of raw suffering.  Did I document it correctly, to communicate the right things?  If anything, it's testimony to perhaps the most significant thing I experienced in Africa- hope can't be shut out, and it rises in the deepest valleys.

Again, I was always conflicted.

Let me show you what I mean.

This photograph is true.  Unaltered.  Complete reality.

But this one- to see her, she looks annoyed with me while talking on the phone, as if I'm intruding on her conversation.

Actually,  she was a riot- she had all kinds of poses for me, loved to be photographed, and after I'd shoot, she'd immediately want to see the LCD- then she'd laugh out loud to see herself.  She wasn't talking on her phone- she was proud of it, and wanted it in the shot.  So, the picture alone doesn't tell the real story.

              Or, in another way, this shot-              

This baby looks relatively healthy, chubby.  Actually, her body is swollen from malnutrition.  Again, the photograph alone doesn't cut it.

This woman did "pose" for me- but in posing, stayed honest-  her beauty and dignity shine, and her eyes are true.  Did she "manipulate" the shot in a way?  Yes- she sat nicely, anticipating the photograph, but it's still incredibly authentic.

See what I'm talking about here??  Moving on. 

These dudes had several poses- totally cracked me up- it was required that I shoot every single one of them. 

Our tour of this hospital was my first big cut for the immense suffering in Africa.  Everything about it tore me up.  I feel very ready to go back again and again to places like this- and it will always break my heart- but this first time, the weight of it all was incredibly intense.

 I felt absolutely awful about photographing these people.  It was one of the most uncomfortable situations of my life- photographing suffering- it was so incredibly intrusive.  But over and over, they graciously allowed me in, and gave me opportunity to share a piece of their story with you.

This man had been lying in bed.  When he saw me, we didn't speak, but he slowly sat up tall, and drew his bandaged hand up, unashamed of it- almost like he wanted me, and anyone else, to see- to remember him.  It was powerful.

Here's another shot where he's aware, but it's not manipulated.  The expression is genuine and true.  Are you tired of reading this yet?

OK.  One more.  See- this image was supposed to be true.  Josh really was doing exactly this.  Then he saw my camera and looked at me and moved like he thought he was in the way or something.  I think I sort of surprised him.  So then I motioned for him to keep reading. 

So, it's almost true.  Almost.

Alright, I'm done.

Always Winter. Never Christmas.

Remember how it used to be summer?

The current temperature in Sioux Falls is -7, but with the wind chill, it feels more like -24.

It is cold, it is mid-February, and it is the time of the year when there's nothing to look forward to and it's always winter and never Christmas and there's at least a solid 6 weeks left before we can ever hope for reprieve.

It is, as happens every year, officially driving me crazy.

It's harder to concentrate, it's harder to leave the house with four children, it's my least favorite season.

I am so, so, so not into winter.

I'm even a little angry about it today.

So this afternoon, I'm remembering summer.

Well Read.

I caught a rare episode of Oprah last week- all about building awareness in what we eat, and where it comes from- something I think is interesting and important*.  And it followed the Oprah Staff's week long Vegan Challenge.

*Caveat-  We Kochs strive to be aware, informed, responsible eaters/consumers, but, we are not Vegans, Vegetarians,  Pescatarians, or even Flexitarians.  Not that there's anything "wrong" with those lifestyles.  Just thought I'd mention that here- there's no hidden agenda in my posting this.  It's just important to know exactly what you're eating, and how it got to your plate.

One highlight was Lisa Ling's tour of a Cargill plant.  Straight up, it shows you exactly what happens from the farm to the supermarket.  It's unprecedented footage, really.  It's graphic, but I'd highly recommend watching it. 

My children were pretty enlightened. 

Anyway- while we watched, I saw several points in the slaughterhouse journey that were unmistakably the work of Temple Grandin- and I know this because of this book from my 2010 book list.

Later in the episode, they made a direct reference to Grandin's work in the design of that very plant.

I felt informed, a little smart maybe.

It pays to be well read.

Inspired.

I created this (intentionally) out of focus shot on a walk last week, when I (intentionally) placed myself in the middle of nowhere on a sunny, warm (33 degrees) winter's day.

I loved the way the Caribbean blue sky met with the bright white horizon of the frozen South Dakota tundra, and felt inspired to create something a little bit O'Keeffe. 

When You Grow Up

originally posted 1.27.10
..............................................................

I've encountered a staggering amount of cynicism, hopelessness, and pain this week. Not in our lives, but in the lives of others that seem to be colliding all around me. And children, your mother is reflecting today. Just sitting in it. And trying to breathe, and weave some sense.

You are always talking about what you'll be and do when you grow up.

So many parents say, "I don't care what you do, as long as you're happy."

And they aren't telling the truth. But we can talk about that another day.

You know what I always tell you- that no matter what you do today, tomorrow, or in 30 years- I want you to, in every moment, be in the place of mission, purpose and heart that God wants for you. And if you're living every moment with Him, you won't just "be" one thing "someday". You'll be His- now and always- and life will never, ever be a series of simple labels for identity. Life with Him is a constant adventure, with peaks and valleys, shades of gray and peace in the rain and shine.

That's what I mean- but all I say is, "No matter what you do, no matter where you live, no matter how much I want you close, no matter what it means for you- Be right there with Jesus." And you usually complete my sentence for me. Believe me, I need to hear myself say it, just as much I want you to know it. I still need to know it better for myself.

And while I'm at it, here's more of what I want for you.

I want you to be present and open, not disconnected and "safe". Be awake. Be present. Listen first, and speak without fear.

I want you to create. In a thousand ways. With words, art, science, your text messages, the way you do dishes, how you buy your groceries, the ways you relate to others, how you see the world- and what you do about it. Be creative. Do a new thing.

I want you to stand firm in convictions- but stay flexible and willing to be formed.

I want you to live free, and out of the boxes the world places you in, and live real, not covered in facades and striving for the fulfillment of empty expectations.

Don't be afraid to say No. Don't be afraid to say Yes.

I want you full of love, compassion and peace, to bring healing and fresh life, to live rightly, compelled by the Living God- not full of rules, checklists, and man-conceived laws of "good" and "bad". Live closely pressed to the chest of God, discerning, listening, thinking, with patience to wait for answers- not hungry for new laws of what is OK, and what's off limits. Know the peace of absolute truth- and the freedom that lives within it.

I want you to live in the midst of reality- to live a life close to God, not afraid to push into the real, messy, complicated world- not satisfied to stay neatly cornered off from the rest.

I want you to be a gift to the ones you meet. A real, honest-to-goodness Godsend.

And I want you to be happy.

Happy in God.

Important.

Pictures like this are important.  Whether you're in Africa, America, anywhere- everyday shots of real life, people doing real things in their real environment are incredibly valuable.

If you're not already doing so, photograph everything you do, every single everyday thing- photograph it.  Often.  Those everyday pictures are like gold to you, your children, your great grandchildren.

So many details about this shot communicate exactly what it's like in Zambia- just looking at it brings me back.  And I love it. 

If I don't go back soon to shoot 1000 more scenes like this and portraits of the Zambians I've grown to love so much, my heart just might explode.

Spring's Invisible Law Returns



Continuities

Nothing is ever really lost, or can be lost,

No birth, identity, form—no object of the world.

Nor life, nor force, nor any visible thing;

Appearance must not foil, nor shifted sphere confuse thy brain.

Ample are time and space—ample the fields of Nature.

The body, sluggish, aged, cold—the embers left from earlier fires,

The light in the eye grown dim, shall duly flame again;

The sun now low in the west rises for mornings and for noons continual;

To frozen clods ever the spring's invisible law returns,

With grass and flowers and summer fruits and corn.

-Walt Whitman

 

A Good Day

Unexpectedly, my kids went to stay with Grandpa and Grandma last night.  They're having a great time, Jim and I will have a great time, and we'll all see each other soon.

In the meantime, we got to eat take out with a bottle of Fume Blanc in peace and quiet for dinner last night, and I get an empty house and a free day, with a weekend alone with Jim to look forward to when he gets home.

We woke up like normal, he went to work, and by 8:30 this morning, I'd had a nice quiet early morning like usual- and then had time to clean the whole house as well.  Now I've gotten done with everything I needed to do today, I've showered, dinner is in the crock pot, I've chillaxed a bit, listened to several podcasts- and at 11 AM, I'm ready to go thrifting. 

I have $32 cash in my wallet and the whole rest of the day to visit my favorite spots. 

I'll no doubt stop to grab a free coffee with one of my empty Starbucks coffee bags that I keep in the van just for times like this (did you know if you drink Starbucks coffee at home, and you bring in your empty bag, you get free coffee?). 

It's going to get up to 32 degrees here, which is a heat wave, so I'm not bringing a coat, and the dogs can come along for the ride, since it's not freezing cold out.  Well, Bebo and Pippen will come along for the ride.  Bacon is staying home with a new chewie, which, he's going to enjoy much more anyway.  He doesn't really care about rides.

I've got my iPod and earbuds ready so I can listen and chill all day, by myself, in my own world, which is extremely rare.

I'm really looking forward to it.

Pippen and Pate

Someone out there is going to think this is gross....

First Lesson.

Stupid Post.

I've been distracted lately.  I have so many posts I'd love to write if I had the time to think and write them out, but I've been using all my thoughtful time (not like there's a ton of it) with books lately, just in a reading-a-ton phase I suppose, which I know will pass, and the rest of the time, we've been sort of sick, and busy.  That, too, I hope, will pass.  And it's so insanely cold here right now, all the staying indoors zaps my creativity.  I'm just so done with winter.

And I recently switched over all my camera gear, kissing my old babies goodbye and shipping them off to new owners, and getting familiar with my new stuff.  It was a little sad- I could shoot with my other DSLRs blind, we were tight.  I knew them well.  I even took one to Africa and back.  That's bonding.  You know?  They even had names- Eve, and Paul (an homage to Julia Child's husband Paul, who loved photography).  So...you name your cameras too, right?  I haven't named my new camera body yet.  I barely know her.  It could even be a him at this point, I haven't got a clue.  Moving on.

  Now I'm getting the feel of a new model, a new focal length- 85mm f/1.8, and I hope to soon add another 50mm f/1.4 in the next few months- the 85 is fabulous, and even though I knew it wouldn't be flexible enough to be my "only" lens, it's still my only lens until I save for the 50.  They'll both be great for everyday life, and for Africa.  I could've really rocked that 85 in Africa.  There's always next time.

Until then, we're just indoors all the time, going crazy, and I'm taking pointless pictures of random household items to get in sync with my new gear, test the limits, get the feel.

Like oranges.  I took a lot of shots of oranges today.

And, can it see through the eyes of a colander?  No- it can't.  Good to know.

My children are semi-patient with me while I shoot away...

Bottles of cleaner always sit still for me.

Bella is, for the most part, a good sport.

This looks so dorky, but, this is how you get to know your camera, people.  Don't wait to try it out when you actually need to get something good.  Mess around with it at home.  That's the only way you get better. 

Spring please, please come soon. 

Flowers are Nice.

Jim and the kids brought me some daisies last weekend. 

But, this is what gets me-  Saturday morning I was out early at Starbucks with a friend.  Everyone was asleep when I left.  While I was there, Jim buzzes me a text that says, "Thanks for cleaning my shower!" (I'd cleaned the day before).

He noticed and he texted me to tell me so.

Flowers are nice.

But it's stuff like that text that rocks my world and reinforces my opinion that Jim Koch is the finest thug around.