Life Every Day

It's strange the way people enjoy anonymity on the Internet.  It is amazing, sometimes sickening, the things people will say to one another, or about a collective idea or cause on the Internet- when they are safe behind their screens and not living it out in real life. 

But it's very much a part of who they are.  And they are very much speaking to real people.  It feels easier, it feels good- to spit out an instant opinion or comment born of your gut reaction, when you know no one will hold you accountable.  There will be no one to look in the eye and have an honest, human interaction with.  Not when you get all control over the conversation, and your involvement in it.  No consequences (that you can see) from the other side of the screen where those objective, untouchable people live.  You can say whatever you want, and never be open to dialogue.  Not when you're anonymous.

Isn't that ideal for the opinionated masses who are largely too afraid to ask real, good questions in real life?  Maybe they're afraid because they're searching out truth, and they feel strange asking questions out loud.  Maybe there's a pattern in their life- when they ask hard questions, they get rejected, judged, or glossed over.  Maybe they're terrified of healthy conflict.  Perhaps they've never experienced it.

And yet, we do have opinions.  And we like to get them out there.  So, for those who fear honest dialogue, there is the vast, wide Internet.  That's where we get it out.  Because every human needs to.

When you leave a comment on a blog, you have choices. You can sign in as a blogger yourself, leaving a link to your own site.  Or you can comment leaving your name, your email address.  Or, you can just be anonymous.

Anonymous people leave comments on my blog all the time- they are not always published, but almost always are.  People like to make snap judgements.  And then they get to judge, show opinion, leave commentary and rhetorical questions- and leave absolutely no way for me to actually know their name, their email address, their story.  No real option for honest, authentic conversation.  There's no back and forth, you really just wanted to get out your opinion, and leave it there.  No openness.

So typically, I don't respond to anonymous comments when they deal with issues beyond which brand of toothpaste I use, book recommendations, or what my favorite color is.  When someone comments with a rhetorical question, or strong opinion, as if starting a big debate in which they assume they are already correct- but leaves no open door to discussion- I don't honor that with a response. 

But to all of you who do it, feel free to actually contact me, or leave some way for us to really, actually communicate in a whole way, and I'm happy to talk.  Otherwise, it's a bit awkward, you hiding back there where I can't see you.  It doesn't seem fair.  Or the way it's meant to be.



But hey- it's a beautiful day here, I'm enjoying the breeze through my window, I'm doing laundry, and my children are happily playing dress up with the cats downstairs right now, so, I don't mind leaving this response, if it allows me to mention once and for all how I feel about the closed-communication of anonymous commentary on the Web.

So, to the poster who stated,

"I am surprised to see from your fingertips that you are grateful for beer. I would be interested to know why you would write that.....from my line of work I have only seen physical, psychological, societal, familial, and massive cultural damage flow from it. I guess I would never, never be able to say that I am grateful for beer." (Find it here)

Yes- Jim and I love beer.   

We have a great local grocery store that has a good selection of imported and domestic beers.  We can take home several varieties and compare and contrast them.  Similar to wine tasting.  It's a ton of fun- we've really gotten into it in the last year.  We both love Guinness, but sort of just think beer in general is interesting- it's an art form.  It's amazing to experience the complexities and individuality of different brews.  It's amazing how different they can be on the palate.  Some we think are just terrible, some surprising.  I save all the bottle caps and mark on the inside- a star for the greats, and so on. 

Up there is a shot of the variety we brought home a few weeks ago.  We've drunk them all since, and some were awful (to me) some really, really good- and some intriguing- like the one brewed with ginger and spices.

For M. Anonymous, though, I do want to mention something.  Your comment had a strong air of judgement- as if it is wrong for anyone to drink beer.

Let me say, though, you could interject many applicable things in your comment, for instance:

I am surprised to see from your fingertips that you are grateful for sex. I would be interested to know why you would write that.....from my line of work I have only seen physical, psychological, societal, familial, and massive cultural damage flow from it. I guess I would never, never be able to say that I am grateful for sex.

or

I am surprised to see from your fingertips that you are grateful for the Internet. I would be interested to know why you would write that.....from my line of work I have only seen physical, psychological, societal, familial, and massive cultural damage flow from it. I guess I would never, never be able to say that I am grateful for the Internet.

or

I am surprised to see from your fingertips that you are grateful for money. I would be interested to know why you would write that.....from my line of work I have only seen physical, psychological, societal, familial, and massive cultural damage flow from it. I guess I would never, never be able to say that I am grateful for money.

And so on.

Someone who has been abused all their life, or who has given themselves away too many times to count, their heart beaten and broken as a result- they may truly be ungrateful for sexuality.

That doesn't mean sex is universally to be avoided.

Someone who has lived the fullness of the mind-blowing experience of incredible sex has a different story to tell.

Someone who has used the Internet as an escape to avoid real life, real relationships, in exchange for a less-tangible virtual world reaps a harvest of relational destruction.

Someone who has experienced the amazing ability to bond and share with people across the world has a different relational story to tell about the Internet.

Someone who loves, hoards, wastes, or is ruled by money is living a broken life.

Someone who knows the joy of earning an honest wage, storing some, spending some wisely, and giving much away has another experience altogether.

Someone who is addicted to coffee, can't stop drinking it without sufferring intense headaches, mood swings, and pain is sick.

Someone who is a lover of coffee, who enjoys the brewing process, the complexity, the aroma, the pairings with various foods- they're enjoying the fine things that are icing on the cake of being human.

Think deeply, discern, and lead the life you're called to- but be careful about passing sweeping judgement for all.