Mo Money Mo Problems: A Parable

Once there were two dogs. They belonged to six loving people, people who, upon opening their gift on the 15th day of Advent found a gift for giving- not to themselves, but to their sweet little dogs. Truly blessed to give, rather than receive, the people happily handed over the two largest, tastiest chewie bones these dogs had ever seen.


These were much larger than their regular weekly chewies- which are ordinary in size, and are given every Thursday on cleaning day as a reward and prize just for being adorable. These mind-blowingly large chewies were given on a Tuesday, which absolutely threw these pooches for a loop, and it was truly a Christmas miracle.


They were fantabulous.

But with great wealth comes great responsibility. And when given a taste of Life With a Giant Chewie, well, sometimes all it does is create an appetite for more. And suddenly, one ginormous chewie was not enough for the Alpha Dog. And he began to crave ownership of another.


And so this little dog, stronger in will and size, took the weaker dog's chewie for himself.


But there was no joy. Only more unrest. There was no smacking, licking, gnawing. There was no utter pleasure in the tasty, crusty exterior perfect for exercising his doggie teeth, his canine canines, if you will. There was only the intense desire to guard and keep them near and safe.

Sure, he'd heard some ancient Chinese Pug Proverb somewhere, something about if you have two bones and your doggy brother has none, give that dog a bone- something like that. But in this moment, in possession of much, he could only think of himself.

He kept watch over his treasure, and could not relax.


No one could be trusted. Even his People. They might want his precious chewies for themselves- so a little scowl and a growl was dished out to everyone who came near.


When it was time to go potty, he even tried to transport his booty outside for safe-keeping, in the 5 degree winter weather. Yes, he would rather hide his chewies in freezing temperatures- out of even his reach, than risk the chance that they could be enjoyed by another.

And his mother, finally having enough of this ridiculous mirror into the wayward hearts of Man and Beast, swooped in, took one chewie away, and restored it to it's rightful owner, who chewed it for hours, the happiest dog that ever was. And the pup was grateful.

After much reflection, the greedy canine made amends, and the two slept in a heap of snuggles and snores in the sunshine all afternoon.

The End.