?M: In Which She Tells a Love Story

For those that asked, here is a long story of how we met and fell in love, told in short sentences.

We met at the beginning of our sophomore year of college, when I transferred to our Alma Mater in my second year.

We were both a part of InterVarsity, and could not have been more different.

It was November 2, when he first really stood out to me. You see, until then, I had Jim mixed up with another friend, and I had mistakenly thought they were the same person. For two months.

This is how well I knew my husband on the night I knew I would marry him.

We were at a party, standing in a group of friends in the kitchen, and this guy I barely knew, but had written off to be the type of person I'd never hang out with, initiated the Oreo Game. You unscrew an Oreo, lick it, stick it on your forehead and try to get it in your mouth without using your hands (squishing your face).


Because our God invented humor, He has a good sense of it. The instant that man stuck the Oreo on his forehead, the Holy Spirit clearly, silently, yelled in my ear that I would marry him.

Because things of God can seem strange to the world, but be plain to one that knows Him, this surprised me, but was not strange.

So now, this guy I hardly knew was the one I knew I'd marry. I'd better get to know him, right? I paid more attention from that point on. I had no romantic feelings for him at all. But I did take an interest in who he was.

It turns out, he was one of the nicest people I'd ever met. To this day, I can't name anyone "nicer". He also happened to be very smart, practical and funny, and not really plain at all. He was also a really good listener, and exhibited extreme patience in a few key moments where I myself would have lost it. He also had a servant's heart, and showed it in a few key moments when I would have failed to serve.

He turned out to be nearly an exact opposite of me. Turns out this guy I never would have given a second look at was meant to be a perfect counterpart to me. Over the years we have grown in this experience of oneness, but in the beginning, all we had was Jesus, in common, at the center.

The months went by. We ran in the same circle, lived some life together, and I came to his prayer group- 10:00 three nights a week in his dorm room, with several friends and his roommate Bruce, who had the weirdest flossing ritual I've ever seen. But he loved Jesus too.

Funny thing, in that year, three friends privately, seperately confessed their undying love for him to me. Jim Koch was very popular with the ladies. But I knew better. He would marry me. Someday.

Then, though those romantic feelings still weren't there, my interests in that direction were highly piqued. That man could pray. I loved to listen to him pray. I still find it one of the sexiest things about him. And he could pray scripture, because it was easy for him to read the Word and not forget it. I still wasn't at a place to say I had romantic feelings for him, but boy, I knew they'd come when it was right, and I trusted God for that to work out.

We became very good friends. I never told him about the Oreo incident, but did wonder what God had told him.

One day, I knew I had to tell him about it. I wanted to do nothing less. "Please, God, couldn't he say something first?!" No, apparently not.

I am leaving out 100 details, to make this as short as I can.

But one day I knew I had to tell him. I made a deal with God that I would, if Jim came to my room. That whole day, he didn't come. Turns out, he was in his dorm room, a floor below, struggling to get things done, but all he wanted to do was come see me. For no reason. He fought it all day, but gave in. He says he almost came in and said, "Are we supposed to talk about something?" But didn't. He just chilled and we talked, and hello, elephant in the room. I knew I had to say it.

I don't remember this, but Jim says in the middle of our conversation I blurted out,
"I don't even like you, but God told me we are going to get married."

Jim, knowing he was supposed to be talking to me, knew this was why he'd come. And as I said, the things of God may look odd to others, but not to those who know Him, and Jim had perfect peace with it. It made sense. Not strange at all.

Until then, he'd not been told anything about this, but he knew. We covered a few things: Neither of us had feelings other than good friendship with each other. Neither of us wanted to be in a relationship of any kind at the time. We would wait on God and trust that whenever He wanted to, He'd grow our hearts and begin something new between us. Until then, life as normal.

And it was.

That summer, we were apart, and in those few months, naturally and amazingly, our hearts grew several sizes bigger for each other. We didn't say this to one another, of course, but they did. I missed him. I missed him. Everything had evolved, it was friendship and more, and by the time our Junior year started, I knew I was ready for a next step. He was too.

Just before classes started he sent me flowers, with only this verse attached, "And now dear lady, I am not writing you a new command but one we have had from the beginning. I ask that we love one another. And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love. 2 John 5,6."

It had begun. Shortly after, we had a long talk. This was it. We were sold. And certain, that we would marry the following summer. But it wasn't time to get engaged yet. So, we initiated a courtship of sorts, much to the surprise and sheer astonishment of our friends, who never saw it coming. Never.

We were engaged one night in the middle of our church parking lot, after a huge blizzard, and married the following June at that same church, after several excruciatingly long months of waiting to finally be one.

June 8, 2002 saw the happiest, most thrilled two people who ever did marry. We loved one another deeply, as we gave each other

our hearts and our first kiss with friends and family gathered around us.

Marriage has not been easy, though some parts are, and it hasn't been bad, though some parts are. There are few better things on earth to display Christ's love for His church and the body's love for Christ than in marriage, and a marriage lived out in the love of Jesus is a beautiful, challenging, road to holiness.

I remember Jim and I talking once early on, about what we were most excited for in our life together. We agreed wholly that we didn't look forward most to emotional highs and amazing great things, but to a daily walk in love together, through all the every days we would be given. Because that is where the really good stuff is found. On the every day road.

Thank you, Jim, for being my love, my best friend and my walking companion. This process of knowing and being known is a great mystery, and I am forever grateful to have you by my side. I've said it before, I say it now, there is absolutely no room in my heart for another, you have it all.