Five.

Grace Daisy is officially five. She has waited, and waited for this birthday, talking about the blessed day for months- the day she is five, when she is five, all the things she will do when she is five. Grace is five.

Mama has approached this birthday much like how other women approach turning 40. I'm in denial, I'm excited. I'm full of pride for the place we are and hoping for the future one moment, and sick to my stomach the next- the rapid-spinning passage of time makes me a little light-headed. How in the world could she be five? Yet, life has changed so much since she got here, hasn't it been longer? So much changes with this birthday. Our family identity has always been one full of preschoolers. Now, there's a little lady in the mix, one so very mature.

All of this causes me to reflect and appreciate how quickly time flies when you're blessed immeasurably, as we are with Grace, our oldest child, our sensitive, thoughtful one. The neat, organized one, who believes there is a place for everything, down deep in her soul. The one who is so particularly interested and focused on details, she can remember the earrings an acquaintance was wearing three weeks ago when she saw her last, and best describes people when she doesn't know their names by the color of their shirts- "Mommy, the one in the pink shirt said ____. Then the one in the shirt with the flower did ______! Isn't that funny Mommy?!" The one who adores the color red. The careful one, the natural little Mother who shepherds her "flock" of siblings every single day. The one who is rarely out of tune, and can remember nearly all the words to a book or a song, almost effortlessly, after just one hearing. The one who finds joy in quiet moments to think and ponder, the one who has the sensitive heart and big, big, big feelings, which are really best when discussed at length, along with her ideas about life and, well, everything. The one who is really into the details. The one who loves to eat outside, and is always watching the sky.

The one who is, in every way but the color of her hair, exactly like me. She is and has always been a joy to raise up, and also my greatest challenge. Oh, the joy and pain of facing my own strengths and weaknesses, so clearly reflected in this child, charged with the responsibility of raising her up, when I have so much to learn as well! But, then, it is a sweet thing to learn and grow on this road together. I understand her so well, and our sameness also often creates tension between us that isn't there between me and her sibling who is quite the opposite from us. We love all the same things, we push each other's buttons. Oh, Grace, you do a wonderful job being our little girl, our oldest one, while we "try out" all our parenting on you first. You're a wonderful little lady. Baby, if you weren't so excited to grow and grow, I'd be tempted to try to keep you small forever. But, then again, it sure is wonderful to grow right with you. Today we celebrated you with a red-and-sparkly birthday party, you were showered with sparkle jeans, sparkle shoes, sparkle nail polish and many other things you love. We want you to know YOU are a precious gift we can't stop thanking God for. Happy Birthday Gracie Daisy, we love you so, so much.